I am Elsie's Daughter
I am the first born child of Elsie. Elsie was seven years old when her dad died. She was the youngest of eleven children, seven of which were girls. Everyone in Fox Point knew the family. The Martin sisters. Seven good looking, shapely, hard working, church going girls, well brought up girls. There was Christina, the oldest sister. She had buried one of her twins and went back to her life, she & her husband were farmers, owned & operated a rod & gun club, she bred dogs and she cleaned offices. There was Mary. She married a romantic, quiet hardworking boxer. Mary, a.k.a. Mamie was a woman of quiet wisdom old world common sense. There was Thelma, who loved well, but perhaps not wisely, and had such beauty that years after her passing, people still remark of it. Thelma's beauty was surpassed by her strength of character. There was Lindie, who married an Italian, Hilda, who married a sailor, Laura, who didn't marry at all and Elsie, the baby. I don't know much about my mom's life from seven to seventeen. I do know her nose was broken in a fight. She was proud of that break! She had stayed in the fight after blood was gushing everywhere. I've heard different versions...but they all end with Elsie being pulled off a couple of boys that thought they could beat up a lone Portuguese girl.
My mom was the first of her family to graduate from high school. She was in the first class to graduate from Hope High School in Providence. Shortly after graduation, she married. She had, from all accounts, a beautiful wedding. It wasn't long after her wedding, she left. My mom became the first female in her family to join the military. My Mom joined the Woman's Army Corp.
Her duties in the Army were a joy to her. She was stationed in New York and as a clerk, one of her duties was paperwork at the USO. She told of one night. She was in the back stage area and saw Frank Sinatra. She sang a few bars of a song. He smiled at her and told her she sounded good. She smiled and said "I know".
After the war, Mom came back. She had accomplished another first. First in her family to divorce. Now, she married her childhood sweetheart. I don't know how long they were married. I do know that I was born in the fall of 1949. By Christmas, she & I were living back at her family home in Fox Point. Elsie had walked out on an abusive husband.
In Fox Point, we settled into a life of family, church and post war America. Mom got a job in the jewelry district in Providence. She could walk back and forth to work and it was an easy job. That's where she met the love of her life. Harry was a quiet man with a wonderful sense of humor and looks that could have put him on poster. He was also a WWII veteran. I understand that he gave her a ride home during a Spring storm. Auntie Laura, who watched me while Mom worked, described that first ride. She said that she and I were on the front stoop, and that Harry got out of the car to meet us. Mom picked me up to greet me. Auntie Laura said that Harry fell in love with Mom at that instant. Auntie Laura said Harry never saw what hit him.
Harry was the only Dad I ever knew. He gave me his name. I recall being in court for the adoption. I was so excited. We celebrated with my favorite meal; hot wieners and chocolate ice cream. He was wonderful. He always told me he loved me. I believe he did.
Harry was so handsome and sweet. He really was a hero.
After Elsie & Harry married, we moved to Milk St. I started first grade. Mom was pregnant. After school, Mom & I would sit together on the sofa. I'd sit with my books and Mom & I would read, then she would take out her harmonica. Elsie could play that harmonica. Beverly came along in January. She joined our little group on the sofa. I have such a vivid picture of mom & I sitting on the sofa, facing each other, our legs touching, under an old blanket and in the center, my beautiful baby sister. I recall mom playing her harmonica while I held my sister, rocking her, impatient for her to grow up so I could have a best friend, like my mom had with her six sisters. A year later, Marty came along. Marty was named Martin Anthony, after two of Dad's friends that didn't make it back home from the fox hole they shared. Dad had promised them that their names would live on. So Marty joined our group. I fell in love with Marty as soon as I saw him. He was such a beautiful baby. Looking back, it seemed he was born smart. Bobby came along a year later, almost to the day! He was named for cousin Bobby and Earl Cohen, the doctor that had saved Marty the year before. To my surprise, I found that I loved Bobby as much as I loved Beverly & Marty! During each pregnancy, as each baby grew, we would sit on the sofa and mom would play her harmonica.
It was after that that Mom fought what had been up to then, her greatest battle. Mom fought and defeated cancer.
Mom was so sick, and we kids were so protected that I never knew how severe it was. I just know that we moved back to Fox Point in April of my third grade. I know that Mom cried alot. I know that her sisters helped us move. I just found out that it was her sister Mary that threw away many of my toys and belongings. I always thought Mom had done it. She never told me different.
To no one's great surprise, I was the smallest kid in the class. Back then, the boys lined up with the girls. Every Friday we had school assembly. My partner was Lenny. Lenny was an absolutely beautiful African American kid. Someone complained to the school that Lenny & I were walking together and were holding hands. Some of the kids had called me a n----r lover. My mom asked me about, in a very quiet, relaxed manner. We talked about it. She spoke to Lenny's mom. Mom told me that if I see someone committing an injustice and I do nothing about it...I'm just as responsible. Years later, that is still one of my guiding principles.
The next assembly day, I was scared. We approached the auditorium. I walked with Lenny. There, just inside the auditorium door was Mom. As our class stopped at the door, she leaned over and asked if we were okay. Lenny & I nervously nodded. She smiled that beautiful mom smile and said "Then you may feel better holding hands."
Mom liked to go out. She usually took me. One of my greatest memories is Mom & I walking up the street in Fox Point, holding hands and mom singing. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray........."
Elsie had a series of strokes back in '79. She was never able to walk again. She could barley speak.
I was off on a tour. I didn't get back till the next day.
We lost my dad in '85.
The Eighties were my decade of pain. An abusive marriage, a number of miscarriages and two beautiful babies in three years had taken their toll on me. To my ever lasting sorrow, I allowed myself to be pushed out of the family unit.....bit by bit.
Mom had the house, but Beverly, her husband, his three kids, their two kids were there. Beverly & I had one of our numerous fights and she banned me from the house. I didn't see much of my mom after that. I always thought that if I succeeded enough, if I was sorry enough, if I worked hard enough...Beverly would relent. She never did. Worse, she doesn't like others that speak to me.
I saw Mom at Uncle Tony's funeral a few years ago. I told her I loved her. I do love her.
A few years ago, Beverly moved out to Las Vegas, taking my mom with her. I didn't get to say good bye to my mom.
Elsie was so much more than a woman in a wheel chair, she was so much more than what these last decades have shown. She was a pioneer in the woman's movement by her choices, her actions, her refusal to stay in a loveless marriage or an abusive one. She joined the military when it was almost unheard of in her circle and social set. She worked hard to instill a sense of civil justice in me. Once, she told me "The only thing evil needs to succeed is the acquiescence of others" Then she made me look up acquiescence.
This Valentine's Day, my dad's birthday, we're burying my mom.
In the sunshine, I'll be able to hear the sounds of a harmonica.
In my heart, my mom and I are walking along the streets of Fox Point.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."
I love you Mom.
Rest in Peace.
I will not be acquiescent.
My mom was the first of her family to graduate from high school. She was in the first class to graduate from Hope High School in Providence. Shortly after graduation, she married. She had, from all accounts, a beautiful wedding. It wasn't long after her wedding, she left. My mom became the first female in her family to join the military. My Mom joined the Woman's Army Corp.
Her duties in the Army were a joy to her. She was stationed in New York and as a clerk, one of her duties was paperwork at the USO. She told of one night. She was in the back stage area and saw Frank Sinatra. She sang a few bars of a song. He smiled at her and told her she sounded good. She smiled and said "I know".
After the war, Mom came back. She had accomplished another first. First in her family to divorce. Now, she married her childhood sweetheart. I don't know how long they were married. I do know that I was born in the fall of 1949. By Christmas, she & I were living back at her family home in Fox Point. Elsie had walked out on an abusive husband.
In Fox Point, we settled into a life of family, church and post war America. Mom got a job in the jewelry district in Providence. She could walk back and forth to work and it was an easy job. That's where she met the love of her life. Harry was a quiet man with a wonderful sense of humor and looks that could have put him on poster. He was also a WWII veteran. I understand that he gave her a ride home during a Spring storm. Auntie Laura, who watched me while Mom worked, described that first ride. She said that she and I were on the front stoop, and that Harry got out of the car to meet us. Mom picked me up to greet me. Auntie Laura said that Harry fell in love with Mom at that instant. Auntie Laura said Harry never saw what hit him.
Harry was the only Dad I ever knew. He gave me his name. I recall being in court for the adoption. I was so excited. We celebrated with my favorite meal; hot wieners and chocolate ice cream. He was wonderful. He always told me he loved me. I believe he did.
Harry was so handsome and sweet. He really was a hero.
After Elsie & Harry married, we moved to Milk St. I started first grade. Mom was pregnant. After school, Mom & I would sit together on the sofa. I'd sit with my books and Mom & I would read, then she would take out her harmonica. Elsie could play that harmonica. Beverly came along in January. She joined our little group on the sofa. I have such a vivid picture of mom & I sitting on the sofa, facing each other, our legs touching, under an old blanket and in the center, my beautiful baby sister. I recall mom playing her harmonica while I held my sister, rocking her, impatient for her to grow up so I could have a best friend, like my mom had with her six sisters. A year later, Marty came along. Marty was named Martin Anthony, after two of Dad's friends that didn't make it back home from the fox hole they shared. Dad had promised them that their names would live on. So Marty joined our group. I fell in love with Marty as soon as I saw him. He was such a beautiful baby. Looking back, it seemed he was born smart. Bobby came along a year later, almost to the day! He was named for cousin Bobby and Earl Cohen, the doctor that had saved Marty the year before. To my surprise, I found that I loved Bobby as much as I loved Beverly & Marty! During each pregnancy, as each baby grew, we would sit on the sofa and mom would play her harmonica.
It was after that that Mom fought what had been up to then, her greatest battle. Mom fought and defeated cancer.
Mom was so sick, and we kids were so protected that I never knew how severe it was. I just know that we moved back to Fox Point in April of my third grade. I know that Mom cried alot. I know that her sisters helped us move. I just found out that it was her sister Mary that threw away many of my toys and belongings. I always thought Mom had done it. She never told me different.
To no one's great surprise, I was the smallest kid in the class. Back then, the boys lined up with the girls. Every Friday we had school assembly. My partner was Lenny. Lenny was an absolutely beautiful African American kid. Someone complained to the school that Lenny & I were walking together and were holding hands. Some of the kids had called me a n----r lover. My mom asked me about, in a very quiet, relaxed manner. We talked about it. She spoke to Lenny's mom. Mom told me that if I see someone committing an injustice and I do nothing about it...I'm just as responsible. Years later, that is still one of my guiding principles.
The next assembly day, I was scared. We approached the auditorium. I walked with Lenny. There, just inside the auditorium door was Mom. As our class stopped at the door, she leaned over and asked if we were okay. Lenny & I nervously nodded. She smiled that beautiful mom smile and said "Then you may feel better holding hands."
Mom liked to go out. She usually took me. One of my greatest memories is Mom & I walking up the street in Fox Point, holding hands and mom singing. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray........."
Elsie had a series of strokes back in '79. She was never able to walk again. She could barley speak.
I was off on a tour. I didn't get back till the next day.
We lost my dad in '85.
The Eighties were my decade of pain. An abusive marriage, a number of miscarriages and two beautiful babies in three years had taken their toll on me. To my ever lasting sorrow, I allowed myself to be pushed out of the family unit.....bit by bit.
Mom had the house, but Beverly, her husband, his three kids, their two kids were there. Beverly & I had one of our numerous fights and she banned me from the house. I didn't see much of my mom after that. I always thought that if I succeeded enough, if I was sorry enough, if I worked hard enough...Beverly would relent. She never did. Worse, she doesn't like others that speak to me.
I saw Mom at Uncle Tony's funeral a few years ago. I told her I loved her. I do love her.
A few years ago, Beverly moved out to Las Vegas, taking my mom with her. I didn't get to say good bye to my mom.
Elsie was so much more than a woman in a wheel chair, she was so much more than what these last decades have shown. She was a pioneer in the woman's movement by her choices, her actions, her refusal to stay in a loveless marriage or an abusive one. She joined the military when it was almost unheard of in her circle and social set. She worked hard to instill a sense of civil justice in me. Once, she told me "The only thing evil needs to succeed is the acquiescence of others" Then she made me look up acquiescence.
This Valentine's Day, my dad's birthday, we're burying my mom.
In the sunshine, I'll be able to hear the sounds of a harmonica.
In my heart, my mom and I are walking along the streets of Fox Point.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."
I love you Mom.
Rest in Peace.
I will not be acquiescent.
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